Say just the other day I was at a friend of mine’s house, who I want name for obvious reasons. Well anyway I called him earlier in the day and asked him what he had goin on. He said the usual answer of, “Shit, just hangin out at the house with the old lady, wanna come over?”. So I say “sure”, like I always do when I call. I mean thats the only reason I ever call him. We don’t have phone conversations.

So I get over to his house a little later on and nothing was goin on really. Played a little Guitar Hero 3 but other than that it was a borefest. So after about 30 minuts of being at this dudes house I can’t take it. So I decide I have got to find a reason to get out of here. So here I am asking myself, “Why do I need a reason?”. It’s not like he’s my wife or my mother or something. I did come over and hang out. Is there some kind of time quota that must be met within the man code of friendship ethics that states how long a “get together” must last before you can make a honorable exit?

Hell, noone reads this shit anyway so it’s not like I’m ever gonna figure this one out. So honestly fuck you all, lol. By the way I ended up staying for like 3 hours since I couldn’t think of a valid excuse.

I quickly survey the shower stall and browse through the 64 different bottles of what the hell ever. Female roomate, what can you do. Anyway I look down and see a green bar of soap. I’m thinking to myself, Irish Spring, not my favorite but its better than this coconut girly body wash crap I’m surrounded with. So I apply the “Irish Spring” to the wash cloth and do society my duty and clean myself with it. After a good lather session I begin to rinse myself off and notice something strange, something that pushes me to the point of 1st degree murder. I’m not feeling clean. I keep rinsing and I still don’t have the squeaky clean feeling I prefer to have, hence why I avoid all the body wash bullshit.

So here I am trying to rinse for the next 10 minutes to get the greasy feeling off of me. The whole time I’m thinking that I know I don’t like Irish Spring, but I know it’s not THAT bad. So I get out and do some investigative reporting in the bathroom cabinets to see what kind of Irish Spring this exactly was. I open the top cabinet and something catches my eye, hits my retna like staring into a solar eclispe directly. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? This isn’t Irish Spring… it… says… “Dove Cool Moisture Beauty Bar“! It all makes sense now. I have been forced to use WOMAN soap under the guise of being a semi not so ok man soap. Even worse it says “Cucumber And Green Tea Scent”. CUCUMBER AND FUCKING TEA! Great now for the rest of the damn day I’m gonna smell like a Starbucks salad bar!

Since the feeling I get with this soap after “washing” or should I say frying I have decided to help Dove redesign the box for this “soap” to better state what it really makes me feel like. As of this moment I am never going to ever use an unidentified soap. If my supply of real soap Ivory is running low or depleted I’m just not gonna shower. I don’t care if I just finished working a double shift down at the OK Corral shoveling horse shit. I’d rather smell like ass than ever get out of the shower feeling like I just took a swim in McDonald’s friers.

I had almost erased this from my memory untill I decided to go browse around on Will aka Da squirells blog a few minutes ago. And what do I see half way down the page? A post entitled “Sorry Error”. I’m thinking, sorry for what? Then I start reading and like a lsd envoked nam flashback it hits me. JESUS CHRIST, I fell for this. The shame I am feeling hit me like a fat women at the buffet before closing time as she races to get that last piece of bbq chicken. I cannot believe this happened to me. How can I ever make fun of someone on the internet again? I feel so lame I should probably just cancel my cable internet and download the AOL. HeLl eVeN mY InTeNeTs TyPing5 R feElinS teH efFeCts of Da EvEnt.

Lol anyway, enough of me completely kicking my own ass over this. Go ahead and read Will’s post on the internets for the story as was posted a day or two after the event. If you never come back to my site again after reading this I understand. I’d delete myself too if I could.

Sure being happy and mutually masterbating each others egos 24/7 sounds like a good life. I’m here to tell you it’s not. If we all sat around everyday and sung koombya while giving each other positive ego boosting comments everyday the world would turn to trash. People would end up with giant size egos, not like they don’t already, but just imagine. If every single person in this world thought they did no wrong we would be in trouble my friends. Big fucking trouble.

So as I was saying… Sarcasm. I am one of the most sarcastic people on the face of the planet. I can sit there with a straight face and tell you that you are a burger slamming, inbred hambeast without even cracking a grin. Do I mean it when I say that? No of course I don’t. Maybe it’s just because of where and when I grew up. Back when I was a kid we used to sit around and call each other fags, crack momma jokes, and rag on each other from 7am at the bus stop till 8-9pm when it was time to go home. 95% of the things we said to each other we didn’t mean. It was just funny to us who could come up with the most off the wall bullshit insults about each other. Wore wrangler jeans to school one day? Oh shit you were in for a long day.

I’m not saying I want things to goto 4chan levels of sadistic, anime pedo, hentai, tentacle rape faggotry levels of humor. Those furry bastards can choke on their own penis for all I care. Anyway the morale of this rant to the world is, lighten the fuck up. If someone says fuck you, you suck and they are your friend, they don’t mean it. Think of it as a term of endearment. We the dry humor people of the world love our friends and families as much as the rainbow bright loving tree hugging hippies do. We just have another way of showing it. If we are confortable enough with you to tell you how terrible you are at sports, or games, or whatever that means we like you. If we didn’t we wouldn’t say anything to you. So for you my 1 1/2 readers I want to give you a giant fuck you die in a fire cause I love you. Peace.

Most of you are aware of what happened at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant near Pripyat in the Ukrane. On April 26, 1986 at 1:23am reactor #4 at the plant exploded causing the largest nuclear disaster in the history of mankind. Over 300,000 people were forced to evacuate the cit of Pripyat in the span of about a week. Thousands died, with thousands more injured or poisoned.

The point of this post was I came across a site called English Russia which has a gallery of photos of the lost city of Pripyat after the reactor meltdown. It just amazes me to see a city that once had 300,000 citizens completely abonded. The pictures are saddening to me yet beautiful at the same time. I can’t say much more about them. It’s hard to put words to the visuals. So I leave you with the link to the photographs of the lost city of Chernobyl.

Photo gallery of Chernobyl courtesy of English Russia

California is in a huge crisis financially right now, so I’m sure a cool bill would help relieve some of that hole. From what I read Cali is looking at cutting back a whole slew of government assistance programs due to lack of funds. Now I may not be a politician but I would take this deal from the weed man no questions asked. I don’t smoke anymore, but I can say that alcohol is alot more harmful than marijuana is. I’m sure some of you have heard that a million times from dirty patchuli smelling hippies. I’m hear to say if I had to give the legal right up to one of them I would prohibit alcohol in a second.

Legalizing a harmless drug, receiving a billion dollars in support to keep necessary programs intact sounds like a no brainer to me. Especially considering that to me the war on drugs is a pointless, unwinnable battle. Or just maybe the governement is winning the real battle and we don’t know about it. Putting people in jail makes the government money. No I am not one of those tin-foil hats wearing nut jobs. Its well documented that the prison system is a profit maker for both federal and state governments. I really wonder what the percentage of people incarcerated because of drugs is. I’m seeing it as the goverment could accept this billion dollar offer, save thousands of lives by keeping helpful programs alive. But instead it appears as if they choose to continue making a profit off of the mistakes of others. Damn helping the people who need it.

It would be in the best interest of the people of California to accept this offer. Maybe not the best interest of of Government Inc, but that doesnt matter. They are supposed to be there for us. And take the necessary steps to nurish the general public as needed during times of crisis. Arnold now is your chance to make a difference. Set the standard for the other 49 states in the Union. We all know weed isn’t bad. I know it, you the reader knows it and Arnold I KNOW you know. So make the right choice for all of us. If you don’t, all I have to do is look here…

… and say hypocrite.

News Source: http://stopthedrugwar.org/in_the_trenches/2007/aug/06/press_release_marijuana_dealers_